Lapis Philosophorum

January is near it’s end – Thank Goddess! – and I feel that it is loosing it’s grip on me. It is getting better, the Light is gradually returning. It is still freezing cold, though.

I’ve had valuable help from The Alchemical Tarot. Especially the Empress and The Lady of Vessels have been encouraging during this time that I do have difficulties with -  no matter how much I tell myself that it is a matter of view point, about how to deal with it. It just does not make it that much easier, I’m afraid.

So – it is comforting to work with the cards, to receive their messages and to reflect upon them in an every day context.

I now turn again to my favorite tarot deck to ask about creativity, how to get into this creative flow, that I really would like to, of writing. Lately I have experienced some sort of writer’s block. Like the spring of creativity is freezing too.

Again I do the the Little Cross and I get The Moon crossed by The Fool.

Diana is out with her dogs. Again a female figure, that is confidently in contact with the Unconsciousness. Diana is an aspect of the Great Goddess, and I guess a pristine and virginal aspect. She is representing the White Stone or the Albedo and she is  waiting for the Active part to make the process, the conjuction,  complete.

The Alchemical Tarot Study Group says:

Tarot wisdom: The Moon represents the night before the dawn. It is a time of patience, rest and reflection, in which the soft energies of the moon compel us to enter the waters of the unconscious, the heart of the mystery.

As the embodiment of the white stone, the Moon represents a level of mastery in which are in control of our actions, because we are conscious of psychological influences which remain unconscious to others. We have been purified, and now enjoy freedom of choice in our activities, and patient acceptance of the activities of others. As it says in the I Ching, ” strength is on the inside, and glad acceptance is on the outside.” However at this level there can be a coldness or flattening of the emotions, because we still need to fully integrate our libido, and so we wait for dawn.

And it comes as the Fool, blindfolded, and naïve. The Fool is the Prima Materia, the raw material of the process, the alchemist or the artist or the writer at the beginning of the journey, knowing nothing, but ready to begin.

The Fool is blindfolded to signify his ignorance of the basic principles of alchemy. He does not yet comprehend the prima materia, the first substance needed for the Work. It exists everywhere, but the Fool does not recognize it or realize its value. As a result, he risks stumbling about in darkness. The word “blind” derives from the Indo-European term bhlendhow, which means confusion and not knowing where to go. It is related to the word “blunder,” which comes from the Old Norse term blunda, to shut one’s eyes.

Tarot wisdom: The Fool shows us that everything we need to begin our spiritual journey, to initiate change, is within our grasp. We come into beginning with the raw material of transmutation ready before us. If we place our trust in a higher order, we will be guided through the dangers and darkness and into the light. We need only open our eyes and go forward with both awe and courage.

So the Fool is not aware about the Prima Materia, I think, because he is the Prima Materia. But he needs to believe in a higher order to be guided through to the process of change and transformation -  of him self to his Self.

Again it is a question of taking the leap. Because I already know what need to be known. I do however need the agent, or the action, of just starting out on the process.

How many ways do I really need to be to told this? Write – and I will be written.

However  -  since the Moon has to do with retreat and rest, there has to be a delicate balance between resting and acting,  like the balance between ebb and flow. The Fool will experience some ordeals on his journey, therefore he will need to know when to withdraw and recuperate.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

After shuffling and when laying the two cards on the table, I silently ask for clarity.

I got; The Situation as the Lady of Vessels crossed by the Challenge as The Five of Staffs or The Burning Hand.

The Lady is standing on the water, on top of it, without being afraid of the powers it presents, both as a Force of Nature and as a Symbol of the Unconsciousness, that we are all in danger of being owerswimmed by,  at times. But not this Lady. She is mastering this element, in fact she is it’s personification.

The Alchemical Tarot Study Group says:

Tarot wisdom: You have poise, grace and self-control. Your inner beauty shines out. You have an inner appreciation of how you handle yourself. You are mastering what you have.

This is clarity and differentiation, intuition and being confident, as is also suggested.  But then comes the Challenge as presented by the Burning Hand.

Now, the Fives – in my book – is about disturbance, challenge, change, transformation and disintegration. And this is what this hand is telling about.

The hand is about creative energy but also about not getting burned by the very same creativity:

Tarot wisdom: You are enthusiastic and inspired by your work or other fires (channels for your energy). Your creative energy is at its peak, fuelled by the spirit. If your work is all-consuming, or if you are not in touch with your higher self, the message warns that you risk burning yourself up. Do not become a workaholic.

The Hand presents a challenge to status quo, a urge to use my creativity, and this brings about change. On the other hand – so to speak, it also represents a warning of a danger. Of what happens if this creative fire is not wisely guided and chanelled. That this can lead to burn or burn out.

I guess then, that clarity comes with the ability to balance cool water with burning fire and vice versa.

You got the cool water when the fever runs high …

Equilibrium.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

The first week of Januar. Went. Not well, but it went. My sinusitis came back. Copenhagen is freesing. I feel like hibernating until February. I’ve written about spiritual practise today, but frankly, I feel blocked and doubtful right now.

So what is it about? Let me do a little reading – The little Cross again; The Situation crossed by the Challenge:

The situation gives me The Empress: Here we have the Alchemical Vessel personified by the Mother Goddess herself.

Again from The Alchemical Tarot Study Group:

Alchemically, the Empress represents the alchemical vessel, which nurtures the creation of the philosopher’s stone. She continues the process of dissolution of the prima materia, begun by the High Priestess.

Tarot wisdom: The Empress signifies the potential to bring forth great abundance, the bounties of life, a spiritual flowering. She is grounded in the earth, and therefore in the material world, which helps us keep our center as we probe the spiritual planes. However, we cannot take this abundance for granted. The alchemical womb must be watched and tended, lest it abort, and we be forced to start anew.

Again, I think this has do with grounding and nurturing. I guess I simply tend to forget this, while (still) feeling self pity about January.

I guess I will meditate on this card for the next week, and try to nurture the aspects of everyday life that has to do with the Goddess. And nurture my children, husband, and myself as mother and wife, and woman of course.

I’m afraid I has been withdrawing into myself  and that is not a way to tend to this alchemical vessel, I think.

Crossed by Two of Swords as the challenge:

I’m being involved in thought processes, that are too airy, too dualistic, too intellectual.  If I let it be, I might find a compromise of wisdom (the owl) in a entirely different place, than where I look for it now. Maybe it is a conflict between emotion on one side (the sword with the red handle) and rationality on the other (the sword with the blue handle). Or maybe it is this dichotomy itself that is the problem.

So here I read the Challenge card as an obstacle, something that prevents me from going to the source of the Goddess, so to speak. I’m simply troubled with thoughts and rationalizations. Maybe the owl is telling me to hover over this and that is in doing that I find wisdom.

By the Empress, and pointing back to my last reading, by Children.  In this particular reading I see the Empress’ child, Eros, symbolising both children, childish things and Love.

And the Two swords also points back to the Three swords from last week; That thoughts and mental processes can sometimes be a problem in it self.  I can actually forget what is most important in the midst of them.

But then I’m gently reminded.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

In as much as I love the celebration of the New Year and the promises of renewal and transformation that it brings, I simply can’t stand the long, cold and dark month of January. I now feel totally drained by the very thought of it – lying there  ahead of us.

January simply sucks in Copenhagen.

Since this is my first post in the PDR this year, I think I should ask how I best take care of my self and my energy to meet January.  Maybe it is just a question of being neutral, and to know from which sources to renew my energy.

I guess I’ll simply do a modified celtic cross with 6 cards to understand my current situation, letting 2 be hope and fear too, so that I may understand what makes the very thought of January so depressing  and burdensome;

3

5   1/2   6

4

Let’s see how it works out:

1. This covers me: Lady of Coins. This is me – trying to keep my feet on the ground, appreciating the little things, Nature’s gifts, flowers and such. This Lady may be paying too much attention to the materialistic stuff, and too little to the Moon, and spirituality.

Well, I guess I try to do that, and the Yule spread encouraged me to do that, but also to find ways to work out practical ways to connect to spirituality (more about this in a later post).

Maybe I’m looking too pessimistic and practical on the time ahead, and on earthly matters – such as bringing children to and from daycare, getting to work, having enough sleep, money and what to have for dinner -  and not so much on the possibilities that also lies in these things?

2. This crosses me / hope and fear: Six of Coins. The children – my children – understands how to have a playful attitude towards the earthly and practical matters – the practicalities of everyday life. So I guess yes – I do look too pessimistic and practical on these things. I can learn from my children. I can learn about love, generosity and play in everyday life.

3. This crowns me: Three of Coins. I sometimes tell my querents that this is about their ideals, about what they want to do with their life, their longings, wishes and ambitions. And this tells me, that – yes -what I want to is to work creatively.

4. This grounds me: The Chariot. Will power – ego drive. Stuff has to be done, I have to do certain things, in order to get going. I do that excellently, but sometimes it bores me – and I may go too fast. From The Alchemical Tarot Study Group:

Tarot wisdom: The Chariot shows us what can happen when we become impatient. Alchemical heating is a patient process – the alchemist should not add too much heat too fast. As we draw closer to the Stone, we glimpse it, and want to get to it as quickly as possible.  It has been hidden from view–now it is in plain sight. But getting there, to spiritual wholeness, is not a fast process. We must check our impulse to charge off, and proceed more slowly and carefully. We must stay centered.

The Chariot offers us exuberance, energy, ambition, and willingness to take on a challenge. These are good traits that can serve us well, as long as they are properly managed and tempered. The long distance traveler knows how to pace himself so as not to burn out before reaching his destination.

So I’ll have to use my will power, but also be wise and go patiently.

5. This lies behind me: Queen of Staffs. I have experienced creative and emotional energy during x-mas, for example by writing, reading and being with my family. This energy I’m leaving now, and the thought of this – feels like the energy drain, that initiated this reading.

Three of Swords

6. This lies before me: Three of Swords.The feeling that my thoughts have everything to do with my pessimistic attitude and approach towards January is very much confirmed by this, and it tells me that I must look at my own expectations to grow and get out of my winter blues.

Again from The Alchemical Tarot Study Group:

This card represents pain and suffering, but also shows how our suffering can lead to new growth. In the book Place says that the eye symbolises the soul and suggests and awakening consciousness. He also says that suffering is necessary to achieve the consciousness of the higher self.

Because this is a sword card, and represents the mental realm it is also important to ask what part your own thoughts and expectations and mental habits play in your current suffering. Is the suffering a wake-up call to encourage you to change your mental patterns to enable growth? If the rose is the goal of Alchemy then suffering can be seen as an opportunity to grow and to become all that we potentially can become.

So: The Chariot tells me to be in control, patient and go steady. I have to work on my attitude, be wiser, and look and learn from the children. I have an real opportunity to learn how my own thought patterns play a crucial role for my energy level, and that I do have the responsibility for changing my attitude, and thereby my energy.

Otherwise January will suck and the three swords will cut me, and my expectations will fullfil themselves as a painful prophecy.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

The Wolf

I’ve have met the wolf in my readings with the Alchemical twice. Actually it is a frightening card, and perplexing too, the Nine of Staffs. Which the discussion in the Alchemical Tarot Study Group at AT also points to.

Last time I read it as it meant that some part of myself has to be sacrifed, my egoism. But I have been doing some soulsearching recently and I have been working on my tendency to take upon my shoulders all kinds of responsibility and guilt that is not mine.

And that tendency is a like a predator preying on me and my relations with other people. Because then I’m not able to distinguish between my responsibilty and theirs.

I think that what must be sacrificed is my guilttrip, and my tendency not to guard my personal borders.  I’m working on that.

Actually I see my tendency to guard my borders as a dog, a border collie, tending to its herd, and all material coming in from others and from my self, from the unconsciousness, as a wolf.

It has to be dealt with. It has to be purified so that it can rise as something else, a greater level of consciousness.

I’m writing about this, not  because all of my previous  interpretations nor the general meanings, that Place has attributed to this card are wrong, not at all, of course.

But I realize that I have slowly started to really connect with this particular deck of tarot, on a personal level. The wolf means something specific to me, now.

I made another little cross; one card (the Center, the Situation) crossed by another (the Challenge).

I drew 9 of Staffs:  The Grey Wolf – sacrifice, overcome with passion crossed by 2 of Staffs Hermes and Aphrodite – one lover lost in the other.

I’ve met the Wolf before; It is as said above about Sacrife; “A wolf is sacrificed in a fire. This is an alchemical symbol representing the restoration of the king, who was devoured by the wolf.

Tarot wisdom: You face a calamity, a fire out of hand. Fire consumes you to exhaustion or illness. The message also suggests sacrifice, especially for a higher purpose, like suffering for the good of others, or being a martyr, or subduing the animal passions for spiritual purpose”.

Please notice the little third branch on the torch – this points to the thirdness as a product of the conjunction of the two, the lovers. This is the creative outcome of the relationsship, their child. Being either a creative product or an actual child.

The message being that it is only possible to create something new and to engage in life on a truly passionate basis if I’m willing to let go of my old worn out (wolfy) I.

The fire will devour and purify.

… I had to accept  that I just can not do one reading per week. I simply do not have the energy or time for it. Therefore I decided to quit the PDR at the Aeclectic. But of course I will still be around at the Aeclectic Tarot Forum - my second home at the Internet, and I will surely continue using the Alchemical Tarot  for my own readings, some of which will still be posted here.

I’m returning to my job from 11 month long maternal leave tomorrow. I’m quite excited as to how everything will work out.

So for various reasons, I decided to do a quick and easy layout – and use the little cross known as the core of the well known Celtic Cross Spread. I asked how will this first week back at work be. 

There is only two cards; the first crossed by the other:

1. The Situation and the 2. The Challenge

And both cards I’ve drawn within the last four weeks of the Primary Deck Reflection Process, namely the 6 of Coins and the 10 of Staffs – The Phoenix.

The first card has to do with my two children I think. It is there I still am now, and this position  is being challenged by the Phoenix, the card of death and rebirth, of what is coming to an end, and what has to be transformed to be something or someone else.

Therein lies the challenge of this week. Emotionally and mentally to be with the two children in the picture  – but then to be forced by the challegences of my work to be in an entirely different state of mind.

So I asked the Alchemical: What do I need to do this last week of my maternal leave – before I go back to work?

And I drew:

6 of Vessels: The Gardener -nuturing, not too much, not too little; 9 of Staffs:  The Grey Wolf  – sacrifice, overcome with passion; and Queen of Staffs – presenting a choice between the raw and natural and the refined.

The first card makes me think that I have to nuture my kids and my family, to see to what has to be done at home, while I still have the time and energy.   The second card – The Grey Wolf – seems much more complicated. This is about sacrifice, somehow.

The Alchemical Tarot Study Group says:  “A wolf is sacrificed in a fire. This is an alchemical symbol representing the restoration of the king, who was devoured by the wolf. 

Tarot wisdom: You face a calamity, a fire out of hand. Fire consumes you to exhaustion or illness. The message also suggests sacrifice, especially for a higher purpose, like suffering for the good of others, or being a martyr, or subduing the animal passions for spiritual purpose.”

Hmm. This may make more sense seen with the message of the Queen: The choice between the natural raw and the refined .

The Alchemical Tarot Study Group says:  “A crowned woman in classical dress stands in the desert holding two torches. The torch in her left hand is raw and natural left as it was when taken from a tree. The other is refined, and has been carved in a decorative classical design.

Tarot wisdom: Like the Queen of Swords, the Queen of Staffs is presenting us with a choice. In this case, it is between that which is natural, unprocessed, or possibly crude, and that which is refined or sophisticated. For more insight into these choices, look at the cards that flank this one in your layout.”

So: the Wolf may be the natural, raw, instinctive, while the King – that shall be restored – being the refined, intellectual, conscious. The Wolf also reminds me of my “motherly instincts”, taking care of my offspring. The 6 of Vessels – nuturing – also has to do with cultivating and refining.  

So this apparently is a message about the possibility of making a transition from one state of mind to another. I say possibility – because the Queen of Staffs presents this as choice. I have to use this week to make this transition and put something behind me – and step out of the cave, so to speak.

 Apart from that – this deck is really “cool” to work  with, as I have suggested in an earlier post. It does not give much – don’t tell me what to do, just shows me the possibilities, then I can go figure out  for my self.   

This spread is inspired by a post at Mary K. Greer’s blog on variations on the 3-card spread. I commented on this, suggested to let the 3 positions be:

1. White: The Virgin (purity)
2. Red: The Mother (passion, maturity)
3. Black: The Crone (experience, wisdom)

We could also call them the Spread of the three Ps : Purity of Innocence, Passion of Life and Power of Knowledge.

Using the Alchemical Tarot Renewed, I drew:

1. 6 of Coins: Youths;  generosity, sharing, innocence, trust

2. Lady of Staffs: Dance, love of the new

3. 9 of Vessels: The Mountain goat; experience, confidence, perspective

I can’t help getting the feeling that the deck has distanced it self a bit from me this time, and is now showing me what it can.

I’m asking it about innocence, and it is showing me the two nude children, exchanging the coins, (one them has an owl – symbol of wisdom – on it), like saying: This is (one of) my image(s) of innocence.

The Lady of the Staff is an image of the dance of life, love, newness and passion, and the goat with it’s nine vessels barried in the hill side is an image of – well, knowledge, experience and perspective. It is a treasure, waiting to be dug out by living the life itself. 

The Tarot Wisdom for this card, according to the Alchemical Tarot Study Group, is: “Take all your emotions and memories, and let by-gones be by-gones. Be on your way. The emotions and memories associated with the past are your foundation, and can be built upon, but cannot be changed. Don’t try to change the past, but look to the future. Don’t worry; you are sure-footed and will not stumble.”

This remind me of this first step on my journey, that I took today. 

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.