Lapis Philosophorum

January is near it’s end – Thank Goddess! – and I feel that it is loosing it’s grip on me. It is getting better, the Light is gradually returning. It is still freezing cold, though.

I’ve had valuable help from The Alchemical Tarot. Especially the Empress and The Lady of Vessels have been encouraging during this time that I do have difficulties with -  no matter how much I tell myself that it is a matter of view point, about how to deal with it. It just does not make it that much easier, I’m afraid.

So – it is comforting to work with the cards, to receive their messages and to reflect upon them in an every day context.

I now turn again to my favorite tarot deck to ask about creativity, how to get into this creative flow, that I really would like to, of writing. Lately I have experienced some sort of writer’s block. Like the spring of creativity is freezing too.

Again I do the the Little Cross and I get The Moon crossed by The Fool.

Diana is out with her dogs. Again a female figure, that is confidently in contact with the Unconsciousness. Diana is an aspect of the Great Goddess, and I guess a pristine and virginal aspect. She is representing the White Stone or the Albedo and she is  waiting for the Active part to make the process, the conjuction,  complete.

The Alchemical Tarot Study Group says:

Tarot wisdom: The Moon represents the night before the dawn. It is a time of patience, rest and reflection, in which the soft energies of the moon compel us to enter the waters of the unconscious, the heart of the mystery.

As the embodiment of the white stone, the Moon represents a level of mastery in which are in control of our actions, because we are conscious of psychological influences which remain unconscious to others. We have been purified, and now enjoy freedom of choice in our activities, and patient acceptance of the activities of others. As it says in the I Ching, ” strength is on the inside, and glad acceptance is on the outside.” However at this level there can be a coldness or flattening of the emotions, because we still need to fully integrate our libido, and so we wait for dawn.

And it comes as the Fool, blindfolded, and naïve. The Fool is the Prima Materia, the raw material of the process, the alchemist or the artist or the writer at the beginning of the journey, knowing nothing, but ready to begin.

The Fool is blindfolded to signify his ignorance of the basic principles of alchemy. He does not yet comprehend the prima materia, the first substance needed for the Work. It exists everywhere, but the Fool does not recognize it or realize its value. As a result, he risks stumbling about in darkness. The word “blind” derives from the Indo-European term bhlendhow, which means confusion and not knowing where to go. It is related to the word “blunder,” which comes from the Old Norse term blunda, to shut one’s eyes.

Tarot wisdom: The Fool shows us that everything we need to begin our spiritual journey, to initiate change, is within our grasp. We come into beginning with the raw material of transmutation ready before us. If we place our trust in a higher order, we will be guided through the dangers and darkness and into the light. We need only open our eyes and go forward with both awe and courage.

So the Fool is not aware about the Prima Materia, I think, because he is the Prima Materia. But he needs to believe in a higher order to be guided through to the process of change and transformation -  of him self to his Self.

Again it is a question of taking the leap. Because I already know what need to be known. I do however need the agent, or the action, of just starting out on the process.

How many ways do I really need to be to told this? Write – and I will be written.

However  -  since the Moon has to do with retreat and rest, there has to be a delicate balance between resting and acting,  like the balance between ebb and flow. The Fool will experience some ordeals on his journey, therefore he will need to know when to withdraw and recuperate.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

After shuffling and when laying the two cards on the table, I silently ask for clarity.

I got; The Situation as the Lady of Vessels crossed by the Challenge as The Five of Staffs or The Burning Hand.

The Lady is standing on the water, on top of it, without being afraid of the powers it presents, both as a Force of Nature and as a Symbol of the Unconsciousness, that we are all in danger of being owerswimmed by,  at times. But not this Lady. She is mastering this element, in fact she is it’s personification.

The Alchemical Tarot Study Group says:

Tarot wisdom: You have poise, grace and self-control. Your inner beauty shines out. You have an inner appreciation of how you handle yourself. You are mastering what you have.

This is clarity and differentiation, intuition and being confident, as is also suggested.  But then comes the Challenge as presented by the Burning Hand.

Now, the Fives – in my book – is about disturbance, challenge, change, transformation and disintegration. And this is what this hand is telling about.

The hand is about creative energy but also about not getting burned by the very same creativity:

Tarot wisdom: You are enthusiastic and inspired by your work or other fires (channels for your energy). Your creative energy is at its peak, fuelled by the spirit. If your work is all-consuming, or if you are not in touch with your higher self, the message warns that you risk burning yourself up. Do not become a workaholic.

The Hand presents a challenge to status quo, a urge to use my creativity, and this brings about change. On the other hand – so to speak, it also represents a warning of a danger. Of what happens if this creative fire is not wisely guided and chanelled. That this can lead to burn or burn out.

I guess then, that clarity comes with the ability to balance cool water with burning fire and vice versa.

You got the cool water when the fever runs high …

Equilibrium.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

The first week of Januar. Went. Not well, but it went. My sinusitis came back. Copenhagen is freesing. I feel like hibernating until February. I’ve written about spiritual practise today, but frankly, I feel blocked and doubtful right now.

So what is it about? Let me do a little reading – The little Cross again; The Situation crossed by the Challenge:

The situation gives me The Empress: Here we have the Alchemical Vessel personified by the Mother Goddess herself.

Again from The Alchemical Tarot Study Group:

Alchemically, the Empress represents the alchemical vessel, which nurtures the creation of the philosopher’s stone. She continues the process of dissolution of the prima materia, begun by the High Priestess.

Tarot wisdom: The Empress signifies the potential to bring forth great abundance, the bounties of life, a spiritual flowering. She is grounded in the earth, and therefore in the material world, which helps us keep our center as we probe the spiritual planes. However, we cannot take this abundance for granted. The alchemical womb must be watched and tended, lest it abort, and we be forced to start anew.

Again, I think this has do with grounding and nurturing. I guess I simply tend to forget this, while (still) feeling self pity about January.

I guess I will meditate on this card for the next week, and try to nurture the aspects of everyday life that has to do with the Goddess. And nurture my children, husband, and myself as mother and wife, and woman of course.

I’m afraid I has been withdrawing into myself  and that is not a way to tend to this alchemical vessel, I think.

Crossed by Two of Swords as the challenge:

I’m being involved in thought processes, that are too airy, too dualistic, too intellectual.  If I let it be, I might find a compromise of wisdom (the owl) in a entirely different place, than where I look for it now. Maybe it is a conflict between emotion on one side (the sword with the red handle) and rationality on the other (the sword with the blue handle). Or maybe it is this dichotomy itself that is the problem.

So here I read the Challenge card as an obstacle, something that prevents me from going to the source of the Goddess, so to speak. I’m simply troubled with thoughts and rationalizations. Maybe the owl is telling me to hover over this and that is in doing that I find wisdom.

By the Empress, and pointing back to my last reading, by Children.  In this particular reading I see the Empress’ child, Eros, symbolising both children, childish things and Love.

And the Two swords also points back to the Three swords from last week; That thoughts and mental processes can sometimes be a problem in it self.  I can actually forget what is most important in the midst of them.

But then I’m gently reminded.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

In as much as I love the celebration of the New Year and the promises of renewal and transformation that it brings, I simply can’t stand the long, cold and dark month of January. I now feel totally drained by the very thought of it – lying there  ahead of us.

January simply sucks in Copenhagen.

Since this is my first post in the PDR this year, I think I should ask how I best take care of my self and my energy to meet January.  Maybe it is just a question of being neutral, and to know from which sources to renew my energy.

I guess I’ll simply do a modified celtic cross with 6 cards to understand my current situation, letting 2 be hope and fear too, so that I may understand what makes the very thought of January so depressing  and burdensome;

3

5   1/2   6

4

Let’s see how it works out:

1. This covers me: Lady of Coins. This is me – trying to keep my feet on the ground, appreciating the little things, Nature’s gifts, flowers and such. This Lady may be paying too much attention to the materialistic stuff, and too little to the Moon, and spirituality.

Well, I guess I try to do that, and the Yule spread encouraged me to do that, but also to find ways to work out practical ways to connect to spirituality (more about this in a later post).

Maybe I’m looking too pessimistic and practical on the time ahead, and on earthly matters – such as bringing children to and from daycare, getting to work, having enough sleep, money and what to have for dinner -  and not so much on the possibilities that also lies in these things?

2. This crosses me / hope and fear: Six of Coins. The children – my children – understands how to have a playful attitude towards the earthly and practical matters – the practicalities of everyday life. So I guess yes – I do look too pessimistic and practical on these things. I can learn from my children. I can learn about love, generosity and play in everyday life.

3. This crowns me: Three of Coins. I sometimes tell my querents that this is about their ideals, about what they want to do with their life, their longings, wishes and ambitions. And this tells me, that – yes -what I want to is to work creatively.

4. This grounds me: The Chariot. Will power – ego drive. Stuff has to be done, I have to do certain things, in order to get going. I do that excellently, but sometimes it bores me – and I may go too fast. From The Alchemical Tarot Study Group:

Tarot wisdom: The Chariot shows us what can happen when we become impatient. Alchemical heating is a patient process – the alchemist should not add too much heat too fast. As we draw closer to the Stone, we glimpse it, and want to get to it as quickly as possible.  It has been hidden from view–now it is in plain sight. But getting there, to spiritual wholeness, is not a fast process. We must check our impulse to charge off, and proceed more slowly and carefully. We must stay centered.

The Chariot offers us exuberance, energy, ambition, and willingness to take on a challenge. These are good traits that can serve us well, as long as they are properly managed and tempered. The long distance traveler knows how to pace himself so as not to burn out before reaching his destination.

So I’ll have to use my will power, but also be wise and go patiently.

5. This lies behind me: Queen of Staffs. I have experienced creative and emotional energy during x-mas, for example by writing, reading and being with my family. This energy I’m leaving now, and the thought of this – feels like the energy drain, that initiated this reading.

Three of Swords

6. This lies before me: Three of Swords.The feeling that my thoughts have everything to do with my pessimistic attitude and approach towards January is very much confirmed by this, and it tells me that I must look at my own expectations to grow and get out of my winter blues.

Again from The Alchemical Tarot Study Group:

This card represents pain and suffering, but also shows how our suffering can lead to new growth. In the book Place says that the eye symbolises the soul and suggests and awakening consciousness. He also says that suffering is necessary to achieve the consciousness of the higher self.

Because this is a sword card, and represents the mental realm it is also important to ask what part your own thoughts and expectations and mental habits play in your current suffering. Is the suffering a wake-up call to encourage you to change your mental patterns to enable growth? If the rose is the goal of Alchemy then suffering can be seen as an opportunity to grow and to become all that we potentially can become.

So: The Chariot tells me to be in control, patient and go steady. I have to work on my attitude, be wiser, and look and learn from the children. I have an real opportunity to learn how my own thought patterns play a crucial role for my energy level, and that I do have the responsibility for changing my attitude, and thereby my energy.

Otherwise January will suck and the three swords will cut me, and my expectations will fullfil themselves as a painful prophecy.

Images from The Alchemical Tarot, copyright Robert M. Place, are used with kind permission. Visit the Alchemical Tarot website.

New Year’s Eve, Hogmanay – Dec 31st. This card shows us how to release the old and let in the new. This relates to both our external lives and our inner being.

Seven of Pentacles
Here is the sickle again, but not as the Moon, but as an actual Tool. A sickle to harvest the fruit of one’s labour.

Sickle and Mistletoe

In this case it seems to be the mistletoe, which I associate with love due to kissing under it at Christmas. Reading at Wikipedia I’m learned that it can be both a poision and an antidote, and that mistletoe bears fruit at the time of the Winter Solstice, the birth of the new year – That is now. I’m now reaping what has been sown in 2009. And looking around, I’m quite happy with what I can harvest.

So this is about appreaciating what has been sowed and patiently waiting for it to be ripe to harvest. And to decide what to start in the new year, and be confident that things are growing at it’s own pace. No rush here.

As for releasing the old, Seven of Pentacles has also – according to the book – to do with clearing unnecessary clutter.

The sickle manifesting as an actual tool tells me that this about going to work. To do and act the things that this spread has told me about.

That is what I’m going to do now, that is how to let the new in.

Day of Rest: – Dec 30th. This card shows us how to walk our path in a relaxed and confident way….with the ability to deal with stressful situations in a philosophical, detached way.

The Lord
There is not much feminine power here – but quite a lot of masculine, raw power, self reliance, self awareness, strength, authority, protection and structure.

He is what I need to protect my path, so I can walk it peaceful and relaxed. He – as the King of Pentacles, though on a larger scale – protects his boundaries, his domain. And he like Justice and the Princess of Swords has a bird with him, here an eagle hoovering high in the sky, symbolizing consciousness and clearness.

So I think his message is that I have to protect myself and be confident in myself to walk my path. He is surely not afraid of anything or anyone.

Day of Nymphs – Dec 29th. This card encourages us to connect to our playful side, our inner child and how best to cultivate this aspect of ourselves.

Five of Pentacles
I’m a bit confused here. How can this be about connecting to my playful side? I see a wolf chasing a rabbit. Is this abbout letting go and giving away to instincts. Am I then the rabbit or the wolf?

The book tells about dissolution in an alchemical sense. Is there an attitude of “grown up-ness” that needs to be dissolved for me to be playful.  Do I simply worry too much?

Feast of Alcyone: – Dec 28th. This card gives us a personal inner message – one that speaks directly to our heart and spirit.

Queen of Cups
Now, the Moon is full. The Queen is standing at a pool with one foot in the water. She seems, like the High Priestess – to be performing some kind of ritual, not just that wild, but more mildly.

She is holding her cup under the moon as to catch it’s light therein.

She is in contact with the Great Feminine – it is interesting how the feminine plays a great part in this whole reading – it is really about connecting with the Goddess, about love, healing, nurturing, creativity, dreaming – all that the Goddess stands for – is.

I think that this Queen is telling me that I already have it all within, I just have to introspectively nurture that part of me. Then I’ll be able to catch the moonlight too.

Full Moon

Birth of Freyja: – Dec 27th. This card points to issues of love, luck, artistic and creative expression and female wisdom.

Ace of Cups
I do feel lucky, drawing this card.

The is a lot of abundance happening here – if I may put it that way. And again the Moon Sickle hangs high in the night sky – or the morning sky – because it seems like the Sun is rising in the east. The Goddess is in the form of water pouring herself out in five streams. I think I’ve learned that five is the number of Venus (and in the norse mythology Freya) – the goddess of love and luxury.

This card is about dreaming, inspiration, creativity and love, according to the book. Well, I do not need the book to see that. And so it seems to accentuate and second the meaning of the position. This is the gifts of the Godess. This is available to everybody – including me – if they understand how to connect with her spirit as does the High Priestess.

Yuletide, Kwanzaa: – Dec 26th. This card shows us how to express nurturance, to attend to our families and to express the protective energy within us towards others.

King of Pentacles
King of the Castle. This man is expressing protective power and security, he takes care of what lies within his domain and protects it from being trespassed from what does not belong there. He is satisfied with his life, his home and his family, valuing the gifts of nature. He is generous and mild, but can be strict, if the situation demands it. He is responsible and trustworthy, reliable and steadfast.